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Flowchart: Can You Unfriend This Person?
Can You Unfriend This Person? How do you know this person? Family, School, Work, Improv Class Family → Sorry! Can't Unfriend them no matter what they post → Right to Don't Unfriend School → High School or College? High School → Is it one of your five actual friends from high school? Yes → Don't Unfriend! No → How Racist are their Facebook posts? Super Duper Racist → Unfriend Standard 'People From Your Stupid High School You Weren't Friends With' Medium-Racist → Are they an attractive person you had a crush on? No → Unfriend Yes → Are they married? No → They could profess their long-lost love to you any day! → Don't Unfriend Yes → They could always get Divorced and profess their long-lost love to you any day! → Don't Unfriend College Are they an Ex? Yes → Don't Unfriend or THEY WIN. (Win what? I dunno. Life? Just Don't.) → Don't Unfriend No → Would you know this person's last name without guessing for five minutes? No → Unfriend Yes → What do they post? Nothing Really, Just Occasional Vacation Pics and stuff about being lazy→ Eh, Don't Unfriend. Nothing wrong with padding your friend count with a couple hundred people here or there. Constant "THE TRUTH ABOUT MONSANTO DRONES: WAKE UP, PEOPLE!" Articles → Eh, following this dude is easier than actually watching the news → Don't Unfriend CONSTANT Baby / Dog / Cat Pics → Is the Baby/Dog/Cat wearing a ridiculous costume or making a hilarious facial expression? Yes, Always → DON'T UNFRIEND! WHY ARE YOU EVEN ON FACEBOOK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE BABIES/DOGS/CATS IN STUPID PHOTOS? No → UNFRIEND! WHY DOES THIS PERSON EVEN HAVE A BABY/DOG/CAT IF THEY'RE NOT GOING TO CONSTANTLY MAKE THEM POSE IN STUPID HILARIOUS PHOTOS? Work Have you hung out with this person for more than 0.2 seconds outside of work and work functions? No → Will Unfriending them make every trip to the Keurig awkward? No → Unfriend Yes → (Back to thread) Yes → What do they post? (Crosses over to the same "What do they post?" from the 'College' Thread) Improv Class → Goes right to Unfriend