Below is a transcript of an actual conversation I had with my 12-year-old brother. Don't you just love technology?

Me: How did your game go?

Brother: Who r u?

Me: Your brother, dipshit.

Dipshit: Dont call me dipshit, retard

Me: Then don't be a dipshit, douchelord.

Douchelord: Shut your mouth u ass pee lonker

Ass pee lonker? You can't be serious.
Me: Quit making up words, asshat.

Asshat: U know what u can lick my but and suck on my balls

Me: More like whoop your ass and kick you in the balls.

Brother: Ohh that one hurt i should leave before cockmasterflex here starts 2 rhyme

Cockmasterflex: Jesus Christ, son. Do you kiss our mother with that mouth?

Brother: Do u 2?

Me: No, but I kiss my brother's.

Brother: FAG!

Me: I WIN!!!