Hello and Congratulations

I got a call from a telemarketer tonight. I think it was the same guy I hung up on earlier today. This time, I decided I would mess with him. This is about how it went:

Chariots of Fire ringtone
Me: Hello?
Apu: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Apu: Hello, is this Mr. Joshua Hartnett*?
Me: Why yes it is.
Apu: Congratulations sir, you have just won a $1000 shopping spree-
Me: Alright!
Apu: yes. and a special gift package for you and your family.
Me: Sweet!
Apu: All you have to do is provide one dollar ninety-nine cents for shipping, and we will deliver your prize.
Me: Fantastic!
Apu: Do you have one dollar ninety-nine cents?
Me: sucking in air through teeth No.
Apu: You don’t have one dollar ninety-nine cents?
Me: I don’t get paid until Monday.
Apu: You don’t have one dollar ninety-nine cents?
Me: Hey man, do you think you could spot me a couple bucks?
Apu: Ummmm…
Me: Wait, hold on, do you want to speak to my agent?
Apu: Yes.
Click

I hung up, because nobody around me was cool enough to pretend to be my “agent.” If someone from India calls you in regards to a prize, do him a favor andgive him a bright spot in his meaningless, monotonous day.

*names have been changed to protect the individual from curry-related attacks