My first day with a handicaped parking pass

After recently wrecking my ankle in a skateboarding accident at the start of August, I was finally able to convince my doctor give me a handicapped parking pass.He filled out the form, and I darted out of that door and went straight to the dmv to recive my “privileged parking pass”.

At the dmv, naturally, it took fucking 4 eras.After one of the friendly old hags with the oxygen tanks called my name my eyes immediately lit up like I just got selected by Bob Barker to play the Price is Right.She checked over my form and grabbed me my new rear view mirror decoration.After finally getting the pass, I skipped back out to my car happier than a Mexican that stole a respectable white mans job.

In the car, singing out loud all of the songs on the radio, I knew that I had to try out this pass right away.I thought of all the places that I have gone and wished that I could park in that forbidden spot.I wanted a place that had handicapped parking and a place where those spots were actually used, so that the people who actually needed the spot couldn’t use it, and then they would be totally jealous of how sweet I am.The mall came to mind, but then I remembered that those spots never get used because old people don’t ever go to the mall….unless its to go speed walking, even then, they don’t use those spots.Then I thought of a nursing home, but then I remembered that those spots aren’t used either because people in that place can’t be driving anyway.I pondered where to go for a good 15 seconds.Then it hit me, WAL-MART.Yes!The place is always loaded with the old folk looking to find the best deal on bulk Ramin, Depends, hemorrhoid cream, and other old/dying people stuff.

5 minutes later I’m in the parking lot, and proceed to pull up to the closest handicapped spot.Filled with more excitement than the first time I’ve ever seen porn, I almost come in my boxers.I then got out off the car and see the first old couple to give me a stinky eye…..I come in my boxers.Thinking that all the excitement is over I quick jog into the store, to see if I need any of Wal-Marts fine products from the quarter machines.I ended up buying a fine piece of jewelry, until I saw it out of the corner of my eye…..the Wal-mart go cart.Yes!The thing that I’ve always wanted to drive, is finally mine for the taking, and I won’t get kicked out!

Next, I cruse right on into the store and am greeted by the friendly greeter with the lazy eye and half an arm.I pass him and go right towards all the isles……

After lap three, this uppity old bitch yells at me saying that I should use it to shop and stop messing around on it, because there are other people that actually need to use it for the right purpose.Who does she think she is!?The Wal-Mart, go-cart manager!?Well fuck that!Nobody tells me how to drive.Well being the mature nice gentleman I am, I ran her over.Thinking I was in the clear, the inconsiderate bitches hair clogged the drive tran.Now I’m irate.I got off the cart and went straight to the manager telling her that I’m never coming to this chit-hole again, because I can’t shop without getting harassed about my disability.I stormed out of the door, but was immediately was put in a better mood when I saw how close my car was to the building….