It's just one big misunderstanding, right?"

The always extremely sweaty and hairy actor Daniel Baldwin has passed 20 drug tests proving he has been sober for 92 days, a Californian court heard Thursday. The court in turn told Daniel that only one actual drug test was necessary and that the 19 other tests he designed on his own, which consisted of standing long jumps, defeating Mike Tyson in Nintentodo’s “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out”, blowing bubbles with chewing gum and taking the ACT, were deemed useless and insane. Daniel had no response except taking a deep breath and then holding it in until his lips turned blue. The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of having a cocaine ingesting device on his person which turned out to be a big green spiral straw that was a free gift from Daniel’s favorite cereal Cocoa Puffs. He was also found to be under the influence of several substances, but none of which could be identified because of the exuberant amount of cocoa, from Daniel’s favorite cereal Cocoa Puffs, that diluted every examined sample. At a progress report hearing at Los Angeles Superior Court, Baldwin’s lawyer Grant Hoagland told Judge Scott Millington his client completed a program earlier this week and is now attending an other program. When Judge Scott Millington found out that Daniel only watched one episode of “Family Ties” and was currently watching an episode of “Charles in Charge”, Hoagland said, “Oh. You want him to complete drug programs? I get it now.” On Tuesday, and in a separate case, Baldwin pleaded not guilty to charges of unlawfully taking a car and receiving stolen property. Daniel claimed he borrowed the vehicle from a friend but just forgot to tell him.