Make This Burger

In the realm of burgers there isn’t much left to discover. You can get a burger with french fries on it, a burger with a donut bun and even a burger made of turkey. Yet for all this innovation to the simple hamburger one last challenge remains: the motherclucker burger.

This is a creation of my fat, fertile mind and though I have the dream, I have not yet put meat to pan and made the following dish. Therefore, if you were to prepare this burger you would be the first to do so. What exactly is the Motherclucker? I’ll tell you.

Step 1. Gather your ingredients: burger meat, a frying pan, oil, flour, shredded cheese, chicken breasts (with skin) a bun and any fixings you desire.

Step 2. Half-cook your burger in the frying pan. While it’s cooking, remove the skin from your chicken. Discard the useless chicken meat but save the delicious skin.

Step 3. Remove the half-cooked burger from the frying pan. Fill the pan with deep frying oil and bring it to a suitable heat. While the oil is heating up, carefully wrap the burger in the raw chicken skin. Create a pocket in between the burger and the chicken skin and fill it with your shredded cheese. Pin the opening shut with a toothpick.


Step 4. Roll your skin-covered burger in a mixture of flour and salt until it is heavily coated.


Step 5. Submerge the burger in the hot oil. Turn as needed until the skin is golden brown.


Step 6. Remove the burger from the oil and sop up any excess grease with your roommate’s t-shirt. Place in your bun adding any fixins you desire.

Step 7. Enjoy!

Remember, if you make this burger, you’ll be the first person in the world to do so. In fact, if you make this burger and send me a few pictures of your cooking process I’ll give you money! First one to send me 7 pictures (one for each step) and a short essay about the preparation gets $50. Send to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.