Cheesecake

There are certain things in life that pretty much suck, but are pretty much amazing at the same time. No, I’m not talking about head. I’m talking about cheesecake. There are so many different flavors of cheesecake, and all of them are delicious in their own special way,but that doesn’t change the facts. Cheesecake is LIVING A LIE! How many cakes have you eaten that have a crust? None, that’s how many. Cake doesn’t have a crust; it has icing, and it certainly isn’t made almost entirely of cream cheese filling. That sounds more like a pie to me! Cheesecake is a pie, yet somehow it gets away with this masquerade. Nobody is brave enough to call out cheesecake on its non-cakeness, because it is so delicious and wonderful on its own and people fear that if they anger the cheesecake, it will cease to be wonderful. It is time for people to stop living in fear of the cheesecake! Rise up, and call it what it really is: CHEESEPIE! …You know, on second thought, cheesepie kind of sounds like slang for a yeast infection. Yeast infections are disgusting. Perhaps it would be better simply to leave cheesecake to its own devices and enjoy the marvelous flavor in silence. You win, cheesecake…for now…