Kevin Federline Meets Google's Sergey Brin

K-Fed and Sergey are at a party, K-Fed approaches the bar where Sergey is standing.

K-Fed: Yo, yo, how you doin?
Sergey: Fine, you? (Reaches out hand to greet K-Fed)
K-Fed: (Turns Segrey’s handshake into an awkward hand grip and hug thing) I’m Kevin.
Sergey: Sergey.
K-Fed: Nah, son. I ain’t gay. YOU’RE GAY.
Segey: No, no. My name is Sergey.
K-Fed: Ah, my bad, my bad. So, cool party, right?
Sergey: Yeah. It is.
K-Fed: What do you do Sergey?
Sergey: Well, I founded Google.
K-Fed: Never heard of it.
Sergey: … The search engine.
K-Fed: Oh, word? I got one of those too.
Sergey: Really?
K-Fed: Mine’s prolly better. Know why?
Sergey: Why?
K-Fed: You can win crazy shit. Like autographed photos of me.
Sergey: That’s nice.
K-Fed: Or a trip to my birthday party. (Grabs an invitation from his pocket) Actually you should come.
Sergey: I mean, I just met you.
K-Fed: It’s cool, I have a ton of extras. Come on, please?
Sergey: Maybe.
K-Fed: Anywayz. You ever hear my song, Popozao?
Sergey: I’m not-
K-Fed: It’s a pretty good jam.
Sergey: That’s-
K-Fed: (Rapping) Po, Po, Po, Po, Popozão, Popozão
Sergey: It sounds very-
K-Fed: (Still rapping) Po, Po, P-
Sergey: Okay! (K-Fed sits back abruptly and looks sad) Sorry. Umm, tell me more about your search engine.
K-Fed: Well, it’s gon’ be dope…
Sergey: Really, have you come up with a novel algorithim?
K-Fed: Hah. Yeah, son, I got rythm. (Starts rapping) Po, Po, P-
Sergey: No, an algorithm, you know a procedure for solving a problem, such as searching a large scale hypertextual web?
K-Fed: Oh, oh yeah man. I got that.
Sergey: Yeah, Larry and I came up with PageRank, you may have heard of it. It was pretty revolutionary.
K-Fed: (Shifts nervously in his chair)
Sergey: We also came up with the map/reduce parallel processing framework that allows us to distribute search requests across thousands of computers.
K-Fed: (Looks blankly around the room)
Sergey: Do you use binary search trees?
K-Fed: You like trees? (Pats pockets) I don’t have any on me. You puff?
Sergey: No, binary trees… the most efficient way to index data.
K-Fed: (Shrugs)
Sergey: Maybe you’d understand an example. Say you search ‘Britney Spears’-
K-Fed: Fucked her.
Sergey: Well weren’t you married to her, didn’t you have kids?
K-Fed: Yeah. She was a FREAK!
Sergey: So, binary codes.
K-Fed: You know what else I was in? A Nationwide commerical.
Sergey: That’s great.
K-Fed: (Yawns) Yeah. Yeah. (Looks at watch) Aight, I gotta bounce. Get on a plane, first class, SOUTH WEST! Yeah, But you wouldn’t know about that. No big deal.
Sergey: I suppose I wouldn’t, I have a private jet.
K-Fed: Whaaat?
Sergey: I have a custom, private jet.
K-Fed: (Sits down quietly) Tell me more about alamo-rithms.

This update was made possible by contributions from Iowa.