That Guy in the Dorms

For my more socially inept friends, here is a quick checklist to find out if you are the annoying guy in the dorms.

Do people quickly leave the room when you enter?

Do people make motions behind your back as to kill themselves (i.e. cutting wrists, hanging, shooting in the head) when you are blocking the only exit out of the room?

After a long time of blocking the only exit out of the room, do people jump out the window?

Do people roll thier eyes and say “Oh son of a bitch. He came back from the abandoned closet in Tiajuana.” when you enter a room?

Does your roommate sharpen knives to kill a) you or b) himself in the first few weeks of the semester?

Is your girlfriend ugly because she is the only one that will withstand your annoying ass?

Are you an RA?

Do you owna 20sided die?

When you attend parties, does everyone pack up and leave, even those hosting the party?

Do drunk people become stone cold sober after you kill thier buzz?

Do you flat out lie or exaggerate to make yourself even halfway likeable?

Are you a two beer queer?

Do you own a MAC?

I f you answered yes to one or more of these questions, kill yourself immediately.