Woah Guys, I Missed The Boat On DeGrassi

Guys, why didn’t any of you tell me about DeGrassi? It’s been on for like 20 years and it’s effing amazing. For those of you like me (aka idiots who aren’t in the know) DeGrassi is a Canadian TV show that takes place at a high school. The original version was the basis for 90210 and the current version, DeGrassi Next Generation, or something (might be called DeGrassi: New Class for all I know) is currently playing on the cable station Noggin.

So I literally dropped my remote the other day and somehow the buttons were pressed to change the station to Noggin right as an episode of DeGrassi was just beginning. And boy, was I in for a treat. The main calling card of DeGrassi (again for those of you who are perpetual boat-missers, like myself) is that every episode tackles a new “issue.” After doing some research on the web (where else would I do my research) I found out they’ve dealt with school shootings in one episode (a nerd who gets covered in feathers during an academic decathalon brings a gun to school and shoots his friend and then falls onto his gun and kills himself), they’ve dealt with STDs (some skeez has his own Blow Job van where he has this hot virgin chick blow him so she can get her own bracelet he made her out of a pipe cleaner) and, in the episode I watched, they dealt with teen pregnancy.

But seriously, check this out. The guy who is the lead in the episode I saw was a straight nerd. Him and his nerdy friend go to some crappy Canadian movie and while at the popcorn concession stand, the main dude keeps insinuating he’s scored with his pretty ugly girlfriend (“I gave her a driving lesson…she sure did like the stick shift” and so on and so on). His homely girlfriend overhears what he says and pours an entire large movie theater soda down his pants (which is amazing…I’m gonna try that sometime soon). Then he takes her aside and is like, what the hell is that for? And her response? “I’m pregnant.” “Wha…huh? How…how long have you known?” “Three months.”

Hahahaha! Oh man. That nerd got his ugly girlfriend pregnant. The funny and/or crazy thing is that this is exactly like what happened at my high school. The dude in my grade to have sex first was actually the biggest nerd. He was just smart/stupid enough to score with a total beast. I think she was deaf, actually. And that was pretty much the rule for our school…it seemed the nerds were having the most sex with each other. And a dude who was the chess champion, all state, who was like three years older than me, actually got his nasty girlfriend pregnant. He then proceeded to graduate from college in one year and is currently a professor in math. So who got the last laugh, hmm? Well, me…he still has to wake up next to a beast and he’s gotta put a considerable amount of the cash he makes towards raising his beast-child.

But guys, I’m off topic here. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this show? Why am I such an idiot? Next time, can you please tell me what’s cool? Are people still watching “The Hills,” or is that lame now? That’s pretty much what I have to say. Thanks dudes.