The Guy Who Won The Lottery On 9/11

GOD! That… this is… Wow… This is terrible, I swear. Definitely. Umm…

They would have wanted us to go on though? Right?

No, I know. Not now. Not now. Umm… God… Yeah, I feel like such a dick.

When do I cash it in? No, okay, okay. You’‘re right. Tomorrow. Its just… Haha… $98,000,000 is no joke, man. Yeah. Okay fine. I’ll wait. I’ll wait. Any idea… On when? Right, no. I know, there’s no timeline on a thing like this it’s… just… is Friday-ish? That ABOUT right? Not a specific date, just- THEREABOUTS.

Just… No, I am pissed off as hell too, man! Right, sad. I’m sad too! I’m just in… Personally, I could really use the money dude. Like… Yesterday. Hahaha. Cool. Cool. Cool… Look, I’m gonna call my dad. Is that weird? Yeah, nevermind.

Wow, I just, I don’t know what to think. I’m so, I want to say shocked? I guess that’‘s a good word for it. I was just think- You know what’s weird, I never play the lottery. How lucky is that? Think about it.

How does this whole thing work by the way? I mean, does the government take anything out? I could probably find out online, right? Maybe I should look it up. Right, I’ll do it right after the Presidential Address. Or I mean, you have a lap top right? Can I just bring it in here? Do you have wireless? Okay, okay I’ll wait til a commercial. Shit, are there ever commercials? I mean, “This terrorist attack is brought to you by Pepsi” hahaha. I dunno. You realize I can afford like… 40 Superbowl commercials now?

I can’t believe last night I went to bed just like every other day and now… Boom. Everythings changed. I’m a millionaire.

This… I’m sorry. BUT FUCK. YES! YES!!!! YES!!!!!!!! YES!!!!! This is AWESOME!!!!! Ugh, I’‘m gonna buy the raddest statue to commemorate this event or whatever. Just like something good. I’’m gonna make this day … So awesome. As awesome as it is to me, I want it to be for others. Goddammit, it really feels good. Honestly. AHH!!!! I won! I fucking won. Feels good to get that out… Um. What time is the vigil tonight?

Oh, you know what? Do you have any beer? I think just, you know, a brew in- is celebration the right word?- Haha, I don’t know. I just feel like maybe it’‘s the thing to do. You know? Do you want one? Eh, forget it. I’m cool.

This is so surreal. Wait was that the second tower or just an instant replay? You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna give 10% of it to my parents. I think they’ll really like that. My mom lives in New York so her number’s all busy or something. It was the second tower? This is ridic.