An Evening with the Resident Hall Tool, Rob

Rob, after walking into someone’s closed door: Hey! Hey guys, whatcha up to? Oh shit! You got Guitar Hero! Sweet dude, I gotta shred that shit! Dibs on next song, haha! I’m pretty damn good on medium, so you might want to prepare to be impressed haha. What’s that? You only play on expert? Oh, well I can try. Oh, what’s that? Justin’s up next? Well, I can wait. Oh, you got class after…. Oh, well, ah, I guess I’ll come back later? Ok…

Rob, next room. Again, closed: Hey guys, what’s hangin’? WHAT? YOU GUYS MADE JELLO SHOTS?!? I’m game!!! Hit me up with one, dude. They’re for the chicks, you say? Aww, come oooonn! You know you want to give me one! Ah, ok, fine, I guess. If you have any left, I get one.

Rob hears music, laughter, and ping pong balls in a distant room, so he tries to enter: Knock*Knock YO, IT’S ROB, LET ME IN. NO, NO IT’S FINE, I’M TINY I CAN FIT. (pushes door open) Wow, some party goin’ on here. Who’s got the next game of pong? What? A list? That’s fine. Oh, shit, well I guess I can wait 16 rounds, I mean, it is your room, so I guess you can play 5 times before me, I just thought, you know, courtesy to guests, but what do I know? Wait, why can’t I just put my name down without a partner? I can drink for two people, come on! Me? A lightweight? HA. You guys… But seriously, I can find a partner in time, so let me sign up! Dammit, fine. Whatever. I MIGHT be back.

Rob, half an hour later, Pong Room: OH, MY, GOD!!! I AM SO WASTED!!!!! I LOVE BEEEEEEERRRRRR AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!!!! AM I YELLING?!? NOOOOOOO YOU’RE SHITTING ME!!! HEY! HEY! HEY! IT’S MY TURN TO PLAY!!!! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA SHIT!!!!!
(Falls over table, passes out)

Pong Players: Where should we leave him tonight?