R U Ready to get your MiND BLOWN by FRACTALS?!

I don’t know what it is about fractals, but whenever I look at those darn things and smoke PCP, I just get crazy.

You might chalk it up to the radical fragmentation exhibited by those wacky geometric shapes, or the recursive nested images that make you think you’re falling into the eye of the one true god, or the fact that you’ve been playing the same song on loop for days, but something about those screwy fractals really blows some fuses in the old brain-box. Take this one for instance:


Notice how the bluish black centers of the demon flowers arc across the screen like a capital “S.” Now notice how the top demon flower folds in on itself and eats it’s demon brothers while shrieking about Richard Nixon.

How do people make these things?!

Or how ‘bout this one?

Here you see how the flying rainbow comes at you like a speeding bowling ball. Then when it smashes into your mouth and rolls down your gullet, take the time to detect its vivacious flavors. Go ahead and taste. Doesn’t that taste like Skittles? Doesn’t it?

I finally get those commercials now.

This last one is my favorite. I call it, “Sea Creature Tentacle Orgy”:

It really pulls you in doesn’t it? Yeah. Sometimes it won’t let you go. That’s why you gotta carry a knife when you look at these things. Just a (grunts) hack here! And (strains) hack there! And stab into the glowing spot that’s making me taste colors – and eh! Eh! Stab! De- dead!

And we’re free.

Well that was fun, but looking at the clock in my mind I can tell it’s time to get to work.

Oh hell. Forgot to take the dog out….Hey, what’s all this pizza sauce?

Mr. Paws? Hey, get up, time to go out. Mr. Paws! HEY! MR. PAWS?!

Oh, man…not again.

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Two years ago I get assigned a roommate from Bangladesh. Its his first time ever out of his country. His first words to me were Hello how tastes it. Interesting start right. Two days later i walk in to see cheese slices all over the walls. The cheese slices have writing on them. I confront him about it and he tells me he thought they were post it notes. Apparently they do... Read More » not have dairy in back home because he had never seen cheese before. Days after that he blows up the microwave by putting a pot of eggs in it. It is at this point that I give up on the guy. After a few weeks I notice his part of the dorm smells like ass so I confront him about it. He then goes on to explain that he has been waiting for the servants to come by for his laundry. Of all the people why did I get this guy? In the three months I lived with him he washed once and never quite understood that we did not have servants and that Americans utilize cows.