"Seriously dude, shut the f*ck up. I'm trying to think."

Number of times "Uptown Girl" has been listened to

Notebooks thrown at Jake Hurwitz for being a total f*cking waste of space.

Man, I wish I could go back and sleep with my ex-girlfriends now and be like, "See, I'm better now than when we dated."

Amount of sense the lines make

Help from Amir

Amount this seems like a good idea