It’s always nice to see your friends make it big and we couldn’t be happier for the three guys from MTV’s Human Giant: Paul Scheer, Aziz Ansari and Rob Heubel. We’ve known them for years and they’re still as down-to-earth and cool as they’ve always been. Tonight is their big night and I’m going to ask them some questions about the show.
(dials Paul)
Streeter: Hey Paul, are you nervous about the big premiere tonight?
Paul: Hello Mr. Seidell, this is Paul’s assistant, Rebecca.
Streeter: Oh…Hi, is Paul around? I had a few questions about the show.
Rebecca: No. You can always call his publicist, Nate.
Streeter: Oh, OK. Thanks.
(dials publicist)
Nate: Yell-o?
Streeter: Hi Nate, this is Streeter Seidell from CollegeHumor. I’m an old friend of Paul’s. We used to watch Lost together every week. I was wondering if you could put me in touch with him? I have some questions about his new show. I’m trying to plug it on the website.
Nate: Website? I don’t know if you heard yet, Peter, but Paul has a TV show coming out. He can’t waste time talking to geeks from the world wide website.
Streeter: I hardly think that’s fair. Human Giant started out as a series of web videos so it definitely relates. Plus, the website I work for is pretty popular.
Nate: How many peeps we talking?
Streeter: What…?
Nate: How many peeps hit your geek-spot every month?
Streeter: Around six million, plus it’s a very influential demograph…
Nate: No can do, homo. Don’t call me again. If you absolutely must talk to someone, call MTV’s PR department. Number in three, two, one…347-2283.
(hangs up)
Streeter: Hi…hi, this going to sound strange but I’m being bounced around trying to get a hold of Paul Scheer. I was given this number by Nate, his publicist.
Man: Que?
Streeter: Pardon me?
Man: No Ingles, my friend. No Ingles.
Streeter: Is this 347-2283?
Man: Si, my friend.
Streeter: Oh, I was told this was MTV’s PR department.
Man: Que? No Ingles, my friend.
Streeter: Right…thanks.
(hangs up, dials Aziz)
Streeter: Hey Aziz, it’s Street. What’s up with Paul, man? He’s got an assistant now and his publicist gives me a fake number for MTV? What the fuck? I’m trying to give you guys some free publicity, dude. I gotta say, I’m pretty insulted by all of this.
Aziz: Are you the coke guy? You were supposed to be here a fucking hour ago, man.
Streeter: Huh? No, dude, it’s Streeter from CollegeHumor.
Aziz: How the FUCK did you get this number?
Streeter: What? You gave it to me a year ago when we all went out to dinner.
Aziz: I swear to god, if you ever call this number again I’ll have Big from ‘Rob and Big’ come and beat the faggot out of you. I know him now. We’re tight, like fucking blood brothers.
Streeter: Haha, but seriously dude, do you want answer a few questions for CollegeHumor for this plug I’m putting together? Clearly Paul is too Hollywood to do it.
Aziz: Your name is gay.
Streeter: Dude…what happened to you?
Aziz: Are you sure you’re not the cocaine guy?
Streeter: No, but dude, I’m worried abou…
(hangs up, Dials Rob)
Streeter: Hi Rob, it’s Streeter from CollegeHumor. We don’t really know each other that well but Paul and Aziz aren’t taking my questions. I’m trying to get you a plug on the site.
Rob: Are you the guy with the coke?
Streeter: No, I’m…
(hangs up, Phone rings)
Paul: Hey man, why didn’t you tell me you started dealing? You were supposed to be here an hour ago, man.
Streeter: Dude, what the hell, I’m not a coke dealer. What’s up with you guy…
(hangs up)
Human Giant premieres tonight at 10:30 PM on MTV.
The First episode is also available for free on iTunes
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