Stupidity is my savior.

I sit at the bar at the local pub
looking for a lady to rub.
I sit and stare as far as I can
which isn’t too far, as drunk as I am.

I look to my left and see her there
in that short little skirt with long blonde hair.
A gentleman at heart, I buy her a drink
but not much longer will I let my heart think.

I can barely resist,
put my will to the test
to keep myself from staring
at her ginormous breasts.

As I lean over to whisper in her ear
a lyric would will bring her to tears
I reveal myself as a fool
as I topple off my stool.

But have no worries, forget your fears
in my mind the image sears
as I look up from the floor
I behold a sight I cannot ignore.

My reputation has been saved
and from the floor I am amazed,
in her skirt something flopped
because she is a he that is still pre-op.

Clumsy am I, he who falls from his chair
But I am lucky too, because that was a man over there.
Had I been stable, I may not have known
and mistakenly may have taken Steven home.