Razor blades: Those things are expensive and I hate having to buy them. Who wouldn’t be happy to find some Mach 4s in their breakfast? I see no reason why this wouldn’t also work with Halloween candy.
Condoms: Also expensive, and I always seem to run out at the wrong time. Wouldn’t it be great if I could say, “relax, baby, I got a box of Lucky Charms in the kitchen”? The condoms wouldn’t even need to be wrapped; the crumbs might be uncomfortable at first, but it will be worth it when I can go around telling the ladies that I’m “magically delicious.”
Immodium AD: I love cereal but I’m lactose intolerant. Now we’re selling the solution with the problem, like peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
An AOL CD: They’re nearly impossible to find, and I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE.
Rolling papers: Uh” no particular reason, but I’m thinking these would come in handy when I’m in the mood for cereal.
Dating Dos and Don'ts
The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
Flowchart: Do You Like Me?
Every Time a Bell Rings
8 Things the Internet Ruined
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
