Staff Picks

Jeff Rosenberg

Overheard

by Jeff Rosenberg on


The past couple weeks people have been sending me all sorts of crazy things from stuff they’ve overheard Frat guys saying at bars, clubs or just hanging out. Here are a couple of the best – four of them are real, one’s fake. Guess which one!

“Dude, I just got this sickkkkkkk acoustic bass man. Sh*t was backordered for like 3 months. Bro, ITS A F*CKING DEAL, I got it for like 150 f*ckin’ dollars. You tell me where you’ll find a better f*cking deal, CAUSE YOU WONT YOU F*CK.”
– Ohio State University –

“You don’t remember that night? You know the night where I just looked at TJ and was like, “Dude get me out of here, or I’m goin’ f*ckin’ start to break stuff’. And I DID f*cking break stuff. F*ckin sweet time.”
– James Madison University –

“No dude, you don’t understand. It was the Most. Disgusting. Sh*t. Of my Life. I think I dropped a lung in the bowl. I didn’t even finish wiping. Hahah…gave up, dude. The shit was too messy! Mom always said I was a quitter, but I’m a man of principle. Two wipes and I’m out.”
– Eckerd College –

I’ve never drank so much brew in my life dude. My head with splittin’ for real this mornin’. Last night was ridonkulous though man, I think I dropped like 40 bones on myself and that stupid bitch stupid girl Jess. Probly call her tonight, see what’s good. Nah, I’ll just text her… so chill.
– Wisconsin University –


“I hooked up with this smokin’ hot girl last night.”
– Michigan State –


If anyone would like to contribute to FratChat’s “Overheard”, e-mail the conversation and school to FratChat@GMail.com.

Answers:


See More
Like this Article
URL Close
Rosie

Rosie

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
Up +14 Down
Plastic Joe

So my uncle steals credit cards. It's kind of his thing. They once called him 'Plastic Joe' on the news, which he wildly objected to, claiming that it made him sound "like a Goddamn vibrator!" Anyway, when I was 11, the cops were raiding our house, looking for evidence to incarcerate my dear, misguided uncle. The whole family is on the porch, and my lazy-eyed dog... Read More » will not stop barking at the asshole police. They tell us that we had better shut the dog up, because he does have the authority to shoot it. I'm thinking that if he even tries to shoot my dumbass mouth breather dog, I'll punch him in the tooth. A couple of minutes later, another officer comes out of the house, and slams down a comically large orange envelope on the table, and blank credit cards and credit card paraphernalia spill out everywhere. The officer has death in his eyes, and demands to know who the envelope belongs to. Nobody says anything. But then smart ass 11 year old me stands up, and says dramatically, "Officer. Those are obviously mine. I'm a mafia crime lord. They call me Plastic Joe." I extend my wrists for cuffs. "Be gentle." The shit hits the fan. The officers get furious, my grandma is trying to tell them I was obviously joking, my sister is calling me stupid, and my uncle is laughing his balls off. 11 year old girl: 1 Cops: 0 Well, I mean...my uncle did end up getting arrested. So...maybe it's a tie.