The Emo-est Blog Ever

Current Music: I snuck into a funeral and recorded the sound of everyone crying, and now I’m playing that on repeat.

First of all, this blog is taking me an uber long time to type, because I cut off my left hand.
Lately I’ve seen a lot of people making fun of emo kids online, and I really don’t like it. It makes me sad. That’s why I cut off my hand. The more that people make fun of emo kids, the more emo I feel. Every time that you bastards make fun of us, it just separates us more and more from society. But whatever, society is for sellouts and corporate-robot assholes.
I’m crying right now.
Earlier today I went online and I was reading obituaries from Jamesburg, Minnesota. Some guy died of cancer. I thought it would be pretty emo to die of cancer on purpose, so I tried to smoke a cigarette, but it hurt my throat so I stopped. But then I felt like such a failure, because I couldn’t even go through with it, so I cut off my hand.
I’ve been crying for 3 days straight. I’m pretty dehydrated.
I think my favorite shade of gray is uber dark gray. The color black is so overdone. Black is a fucking sell-out, like Jimmy Eat World and The Ultraforce 97’s. I think that uber dark gray should be the new emo color. The color uber dark gray is probably the least corporately-influenced color out there, so it should totes be the new emo color. I’m going to dye my hair uber dark gray tonight. Does CVS sell uber dark gray hair coloring?
I wonder how many points my emo-score was raised by cutting off my hand…? Whatever, its probably too emo to even be on the quiz. My nub is so gross that I just threw up.

I’ll blog again tomorrow if things don’t go to plan,
Billy

P.S. This blog took me 3 hours to write. My mood is now “f-ing exhausted”.