Thing I've Learned at Wal - Mart

1. The aisles of Wal – Mart and stores of the like are much similar to lanes of traffic.
A. You should always keep you and your cart and your belongings to the
right side of the aisle at all time or be subject to crashes and dirty looks.
B. When turning onto an aisle, you should NEVER just run right out into the
aisle. Politely stick the nose of yourcart out and check for oncoming
traffic or be prepared to be crashed into and again recieve dirty looks.
C. If you are with a group of people, it is in NO WAY acceptable for the
three of you to take up the entirety of a MAJOR AISLE!

2. It is not acceptable for your child to put their hand on my cart. I will give
both you and them dirty looks and then turn my nose up at you, because…
yes, I AM better than you.

3. Your child should be at your side or in your buggy for the entirety of your
shopping experience. They SHOULD NOT EVER be running down an
aisle because I will give them a dirty look, one that makes them look back at
me to see if I’m still giving them a dirty look. Then, when I see you, I will
also give you a dirty look. I might even trip your child next time, and no
I’m not kidding. And yes, I AM better than you.

4. It is generally accepted that if someone is looking at the soup and you are
also wanting to view the soup, that you should WAIT YOUR OWN TURN
to view the soup. DO NOT, I repeat…DO NOT inch your way towards me
and the soup. This will cause dirty looks to be shot at you and I will possibly
even talk bad about you once you are out of ear shot. Heck, I may not even
wait that long. I WANT you to hear how much of an idiot you are.

5. I am NOT trying to get you to accidently pay for my crap. You do NOT
have to move your stuff up away from mine. Your merchandise is no better
than mine as it came from the exact same store. Your money is not worth
any more than mine is, though you may have more of it. And believe me,
I don’t want you taking home my cat litter any more than you want to pay for
it. SO CHILL OUT. And I’m STILL better than you.

6. If you are employed as a cashier at Wal-Mart or any other such places of
business, it is good karma to say hello to everyone that comes throughyour
line, because karma is a big old biotch. I worked at Kroger and was so
good at treating the customer with respect and just generally being friendly
that on my birthday, one of my customers came back through my line and
spent $15 on a card and some candy that she then gave to me. All because
I was nice to her. So say hello to me, and ask me how I am. And you
should also thank me and invite me back. If I can do it, so can you. And
when you don’t, it just proves that I’m better than you.

7. If you work at Wal – Mart and are stocking an area of the aisle and
a customer comes your direction, it is good manners to move out of the way
and let the customer look at what they want. I pay your pay check, you
owe it to me to move and let me shop. I understand you have a job to do,
but if you don’t move for even a moment, then I can’t buy what I want. And
I don’t want to ask you to move, because that’s just kind of rude. So please,
you can prevent this awkward sitution by just moving for a few seconds.

8. If you are that cute dark headed manager, then you should work more often.
Customers like eye candy. And you are definately sweet on my eye.

So, yeah, I had quite the experience at Wal – Mart today. And that is all. Spread these life lessons if you will, maybe one day Wal – Marts and shopping stores in general will be a much nicer place to shop. If you have any other life lessons, feel free to leave them in a comment.