Current Mood: 25% angry. 35% what that guy who farted during the funeral I recorded last week must have felt. 40% confused.
Current Music: A mix of bands that are so f-ing uber underground that it would be emo-ly unethical for me to list them right now, because then some f-ing sellouts might download their music and taint its undergroundness with their corporate robotitude. And some My Chemical Romance.
Hey guys, what’s up? I can type much easier this week because my parents forced me to go to the hospital and get my hand sewn back on. Apparently a lot of people were throwing up when they saw the nub; it was uber nasty. It was weird though. While I was at the hospital, the doctor told me that from the look of it, my pants are so tight that they are probably going to destroy my balls within 6 months. Whatever, he’s just f-ing jealous of my unique way of life and non-conformist freedom of expression. Besides, if I wore less tight pants, I’d totes be kicked out of my lunch table.
I wrote this poem today:
Into your robotic stupid lives
I’m not a robot like you
My parents hid the knives
I wear black clothes every day
And also lots of patches
They express my inner thoughts
My clothes and feelings matches
I have stitches in my forehead because I walked into a lamp-post outside the hospital. I couldn’t see where I was going very well because my uber dark gray emo-slice haircut actually covers both eyes instead of just one. I’m just that f-ing emo.
You’re not worth it and no one understands me,
Billy
P.S. Wal-mart has uber dark gray hair coloring. CVS does not.



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Every Superhero Origin Story Ever
News Feed History of the World: April 2012
If You Had Dating Profiles Through Life
Cool Pranks for Cats
Hunger Games PSAs
What Your Desk Toys Say About You
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?