Dude #1: Dude, were you just checkin' out my girl?
Dude #2: Dude what the f*ck are you talking about? No, I wasn't checking out your girl.
Dude #1: Oh, ok no problem then.

(Dude #1 returns 45 seconds later, after arguing with his girlfriend.)

Dude #1: Dude, she says you've been staring at her all f*cking night. Are we gonna have to settle this outside?
Friend of Dude #2: Are you gonna let this asswipe talk to you like that, bra?
Dude # 2: (to friend) Shut up dick! (to dude) What the f*ck are you talking about? I was absolutely not checking out your f*cking girl. She's crazy!
Dude #1: … Fine, good.

(Dude #1 comes back 30 seconds later, after getting reamed by his girlfriend)

Dude #1: em>sigh Did you just call my girlfriend crazy dude?
Dude #2: What? No.. yeah.. because I AM NOT interested in her.
Dude #1: Nobody talks to my girl like that dude.
Friend of Dude #2: Beat his fuckin' ass dude!
Dude #2: (to friend) SHUT UP DICK! (to dude) I was not talking to your girl like anything dude, I'm sure she's a fine lady, but I didn't even fucking look at her!
Dude #1: Fucking right you didn't, cause if you did you wouldn't be sitting there right now.
Dude #2: Whatever dude.
Dude #1: (In the distance to his girlfriend as he walks away) Are you happy now?
Friend of Dude #2: Dude you're just gonna let him walk away like that? You're such a pussy.

(Dude #1's girlfriend finally seems to calm down)

Dude #2: Fuck you dude. Whatever, so what were we talking about?
Friend of Dude #2: The Yankees.
Dude #2: Oh yea, so Derek Jeter can lick my em>THWACK
Dude #1: DEREK JETER CAN WHAT DUDE?