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Chris Richman

The Cafeteria

by Chris Richman on



O Casserole, Casserole! What food art thou, Casserole?
Your description reads, “Sunday Surprise”
‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself though, a true surprise?
What’s a surprise? It is nor meat, nor grain,
Nor fish, nor cheese, nor any other part
Of the food pyramid. O! Be some other name:
What’s in a name? That which we call “taco”
By any other name would rock as hard (or soft);
So Casserole would, were it not Casserole call’d,
Retain that tasty smell which even now wafts
Up to my nose. Casserole, doff thy name;
If you won’t, then I’ll be forced
To eat some cereal.

Think you can write a funnier poem than this one? Post it as an article and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.
Check out past poems here.

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Two years ago I get assigned a roommate from Bangladesh. Its his first time ever out of his country. His first words to me were Hello how tastes it. Interesting start right. Two days later i walk in to see cheese slices all over the walls. The cheese slices have writing on them. I confront him about it and he tells me he thought they were post it notes. Apparently they do... Read More » not have dairy in back home because he had never seen cheese before. Days after that he blows up the microwave by putting a pot of eggs in it. It is at this point that I give up on the guy. After a few weeks I notice his part of the dorm smells like ass so I confront him about it. He then goes on to explain that he has been waiting for the servants to come by for his laundry. Of all the people why did I get this guy? In the three months I lived with him he washed once and never quite understood that we did not have servants and that Americans utilize cows.