- Speaking of hair on your ass, guess who's staying here for a few weeks? Your Uncle Doug!
- after the State Fair comes to an end this weekend. Oh, I was watching the newsguess what else is coming to an end? The world.
- And as long as we're on the subject of corn, last night I could have sworn your bedroom was the bathroom.
- Boy, Blade: Trinity sucked, didn't it? Speaking of things Wesley Snipes does poorly, the IRS called.
- How about that WNBA double-header, folks? Keeping with things that are orange, here's three hours of Carrot Top.
- Speaking of cleaning up someone else's shit, your Great-Grandma Rose is coming over, too.
- You know what my favorite bird is? The swallow. Which reminds me, are you and Jill still "taking a break"?
- semen everywhere! Speaking of which, I hear that Navy recruiter is coming through again.
- My girlfriend is being a total bitch this week. Speaking of things that bleed a lot, your mom was in a car accident last night, I totally forgot to tell you.
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