Too hot for you?
Gettin' a little hot and heavy here, isn't it?
That's unexpected; some would even say "Ironic."
Smelt you later!
Lost your glasses on the job? Go check in the lost and Foundry!
What radio station do you listen to work
oh wait, I know
HEAVY METAL!
This lead dust is probably going to give your kids learning disabilities!

Sweet nothings that in all likelihood will negate obligatory Valentine's Day sex
Harry Houdini the Dead-Beat Dad: Show Summary
Unplanned Pregnancy: Possible First Responses of Cookie Monster

The 5 People You Meet In College (if they were comedians)
Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
Inquisitive George Visits a Hospital
That's My Butt
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots