To any sports fan, there are certain names- Michael Jordan, Lou Gehrig, Bobby Orr, John Elway, Pele- that conjure up iconic images of excellence and determination, and inspire respect and admiration for superior athletes. And then, there’s these guys.
#10 Dudu, Kaka, and Dunga
On their own, these two players and the coach of the Brazilian National soccer team seem like a 3rd grader’s euphemisms for poop. But together, they somehow combine into one massive, sexy, scatological mega-joke.
# 9 Ron Tugnutt
Slapping the monkey, choking the chicken, jerkin’ the gherkin, beating off, polishing the family jewels, shining the pork sword… and now: Tugging a nut.
# 8 Chubby Cox
Why not just name your child “Chodes?” Despite having not just a funny name, but an insulting one, Cox is seriously well connected. In addition to going to High School two blocks from my own house, his brother-on-law, Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, played in the NBA, and so does Joe’s son. Some guy named Kobe.
# 7 Dick Trickle
Erectile Dysfunction/Incontinence + NASCAR Rednecks = Comedy.
Poop names are easy (Danny Shittu), but a good fart name, like a fine ’88 Merlot, must be savored. Combine a humorous name with a violent soccer thug, and you’ve got a winning formula.
# 5 Otto Pfister
German soccer manager, or insane sexual contraption? You be the judge. (It’s the soccer manager, though)
# 4 Randy Johnson
Normal enough to pass under the radar, Randy Johnson is the alternate moniker of several adult film stars, as is the bird-murdering pitcher’s nickname: “The Big Unit.”
# 3 Misty Hyman
I can’t decide whether her name is an STD symptom, or a porno alias, but an Olympic gold medal sure seems like a good comeback to everyone who made her cut herself in Junior High.
# 2 Dick Butkus
With all do respect to the Windy City Legend, he’d be on here even if his name wasn’t Dick. Butt-kiss does fine all on it’s own. But the addition of “Dick” to an already hilarious name pushes “The most feared man in the game” into the top.
# 1 Rusty Kuntz
Is there really any debate?
▶
Travel Posters for Lazy People
News Feed History of the World: February 2012
What Your Desk Toys Say About You
10 Reasons Why The Walking Dead Should Just Kill Carl
The Different Types of Stubble
If You Had Dating Profiles Through Life
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
Sometimes the most timeless, magical things happen accidentally. Like farts.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
