Top Ten Reasons Your First Job Is Better Than College

As graduation looms on the horizon for many college students this spring, many dread the d,ays of sitting behind a computer screen, and not being able to play WoW. Sure your professional life after college won’t be all doing beer bongs and blow lines off of toilet seats, but it has its high (wink, wink) points too. So here for your reading pleasure:

Top Ten Reasons your first job is better than college

10. Orbitz putting pop-up office championships.

9. Getting the first weekend in September off to go to alma mater’s first tailgate, and feeling like you’re 45.

8. No need to go to the bar to find awkward sexual encounters, they’re just a few cubicles away!

7. Survivor office pool!

6. To be sure, red Solo beer cups replaced with flimsy paper water cups sucks, but hey it’s all you can drink!

5. Free office supplies. Stanley Bostitch B8 staples anyone?

4. You finally have a reason to bitch about FICA, whatever the shit it is, when you get a paycheck for the first time.

3. The three martini luncheon, no, no, but that would be cool, right? Right guys?

2. You finally realize what all the fuss about Swingline staplers is.

1. Actually, not a goddamn thing. Fail a class so you can have one more semester of bliss.