Sorority Chat

Two sorority roommates, Jessica and Amy, are walking together to their Sorority house. Both are wearing short white skirts, high heels and big sunglasses. All of a sudden two frat guys from last night’s mixer come up them.

Chad: Hey Jess, what’s up with your fine ass today?

Bran: Yeah, when can we hang Amy? You owe me dinner and a blow job.

Both girls giggle and act super silly, Jessica whispers something extra silly into Amy’s ear and both girls start laughing because they’re oh so silly sorority girls.

Chad: What do you skanks find so funny?

Jessica: Oh, nothing! (More giggling and acting super girly)

Amy: Jess has like, like a SUPER CRUSH on you Chad!

Jessica: Like Oh. My. God! You Bitch!!!

Both girls run into the sorority house giggling and into their room, closing the door behind them. They immediately drop the annoying stereotypical sorority girly attitudes.

Jessica: Nice save Ame, I thought we’d have to talk to those douches for at least half an hour.

Amy: Yeah, I was saving that for an emergency. Pump the house music so none of the other girls bother us.

Jessica: Good call. I’m so sick of this façade. I’d love to just blast DMX one day. I live for our chill time though, away from the sorority and annoying girl shit.

Amy: I can’t stand these prissy little girls anymore. Their voices are so high, it gives me a fucking headache. (Scratches crotch and smells her hand)

Jessica: (jokingly) Let’s like, guess like, how many like, like times we can say the fucking same word over and over. I feel like I’m in the fucking Clueless movie.

Amy: I know seriously. (Puts on sweatpants and a ratty old tee-shirt)

Jessica: Let’s just forget about it and Smash. I need to unload.

Amy takes out a hidden Game Cube from under her bed, putting in Super Smash Brothers and mutes the television.

Amy: Pick up ya sticks, bitch.

Jessica: Ooo, girl thinks she’s got game. Let me guess, Donkey Kong again? You’re about to get pwned into oblivion you fucking n00b!

Amy: Yeah, yeah, keep talking babe….You want Dominos?

Jessica: Already on it. Speed dial 2.

Amy: What do you want?

Jessica pauses the game and both girls look at each other and say in unison:

Both: 5-5-5 DEAL!!!

Amy: (In commercial voice) Buy 3 medium one-topping pizzas for just $5.00 each!

Jessica: I’ve been craving ALL fucking day. Get wings too, I don’t even care if I get the shits anymore.

Amy: Yo, you see that Will Ferrell vid yet?

Jessica: Landlord? Hah, that stuff is awesome. “I want my money, BITCH!”

Amy: (laughing) I wish we could act like this all the time.

Amy’s phone starts ringing.

Amy: Ugh, it’s Chad. Should I pick up?

Jessica: Yeah, he’ll just keep calling if you don’t. Fucking fratards.

(Amy picks up the phone and talks in her annoyingly high, giggly sorority girl voice again)

Amy: (To Chad) Like Oh. My. God! Jess’s like TOTALLY crushing on Bran!