The key to drinking terrible beer is to drink it fast.
Pizza can be eaten multiple times a day with virtually no immediate negative effects.
At least one of your professors smokes pot.
It's nobody's job to wash the dining room silverware.
There is a Santa Claus, and you'll get to meet him right after graduation!
If you have a professor who owns an iPod and a messenger bag, he's slept with a girl in your class.
Before he was expelled, Tom Riddle built an enormous chamber underneath the chemistry department that only his true heir can open.