We’re approaching the midway point of September, which means it’s almost time for your first exam. Here are a few tips to help you get ready for the big test. Think of it as your step-by-step guide to success!
1. Get Prepared
Go to the store and buy a few energy drinks and a pizza. Studying while hungry and tired won’t get you anywhere. Oh, and pick up a six-pack or two, since you’re already there.
2. Get Organized
Spend at least ten minutes arranging all your notes, books, and doodles into nice patterns.
3. Get Relaxed
You’ll need to relax before you can study effectively. Tell your significant other that you’re going to need help releasing some stress, preferably into her mouth. If the bitch refuses or you’re single, go rub one off in the bathroom.
4. Get Busy
It’s time to start studying. Start skimming through the required reading. Do this for about ten minutes. Any longer, and you won’t be absorbing what you read anyways.
5. Get Drunk
This step is pretty obvious but I thought I’d mention it for completeness.
Commit this guide to memory, and you’re sure to get through all seven years of college without a hitch. Good luck!
What People Will Say They're Thankful for This Thanksgiving, And What They Actually Mean
The 25 Best Sitcom Couples
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
Every Time a Bell Rings
10 Roommate Red Flags
Christmas Gift Org Charts, Through Life
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
