1779 February 2
News:
U.S.S. Glugg to depart tomorrow. Men are aboard and robust, playful yet gentle.
My left eye is bothersome, but easily placated with a fistful of brandy and saltpeter.
I regret leaving my lovely Lenore again, but I shall bring back a heart overflowing with adoration, and a basket overflowing with scalps.
I am, your obedient servant,
Captain James Fogg
—
1779 February 4
News:
The crew and I bonded. Bradley, our Surgeon, is a former gentleman and used to the finer things in life: tea on the table, a yak in the yard, ashtrays filled with money.
Our master-at-arms is a master-at-arm-massages too, so that is a plus.
Our first mate Peter is an excellent tipper; he was raised in the wild by a pack of waiters.
My eye, she oozes.
Lenore- that woman is a triple threat: blond, beautiful, a trained ninja.
Yours in perpetuity,
Capt. J. Fogg
—
1779 February 18
News:
A sad, sad month, my leather-bound friend. Supplies running short, and the fish not biting. Yesterday our biggest meal consisted of peanut butter sandwiches- no bread, just sandwiched between our hands.
A cabin boy named Thomas has perished- and an orphan at that! His father died during childbirth: the hospital caught on fire. His mother died of natural causes; her flesh naturally burned. Thomas luckily escaped with mere deforming scars.
My eye has turned inward.
Lenore! Lenore!
Nautically,
Jimmy F.
—
1779 March 10
News:
I have heard mutterings of a mutiny. Subsisting on ocular fluids and leftover Thomas.
The eye is improving steadily.
JF
—
1779 March 16
News:
Men.
My eye has fallen out.
Second thoughts about Lenore.
Sincerely,
Jim Fogg
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