My Train of Thought Before, During, and After a First Kiss- A Response to Dan

So, here at my last year of summer camp at the dance with… Dan. Where did Kyle go anyways? God that kid was hot. Really surprised that Kyle didn’t get the hint- I was giving him blank stares from across the room and walking by shaking my ass in his face for, like, four slow songs in a row. GAWD boys are so stupid!

Ok, it was nice of Dan to not let me awkwardly walk away by myself in the middle of Satellite by Dave Matthews- Such a deep song- But my god is he a bad dancer. Hey, mom isn’t watching Dan, you can stand a little closer and like, not try to make me dizzy with all these turns. It’s a frickin slow song, not a Merry-Go-Round!

Ok maybe I’ll just take the lead. Just snuggle my arms in closer and go for the “hug” position. Maybe that will stop him from- oh geez, I hope that’s not what I think it is. Yep. Yes it is. Amateur! Shit now he knows I know. I’ll have to stand here until this thing goes down again so he doesn’t embarrass himself in front of his friends… No Dan, this doesn’t mean I want to, oh god, he ‘s going for the kiss. Christ, he better be a good kisser. Sometimes, I am just too nice, you know?

Dan, really? That’s my face, not my mouth. You’re slobbering all over me. And now you are LICKING MY TEETH. I can’t imagine how this is enjoyable for you. Gross. Good thing the song is over and your boner is finally gone. Now where did Kyle go… Kyle? Kyle? KYLEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SANDY YOU BITCH! HE WAS MINE!!!!

*Note to self: Untie Sandy’s bikini string at tomorrow’s pool party. ….and steal her cherry lip gloss.