Revelation XIII

Suuuuuuuuuup? Oh man, remember that girl I was into a few months ago? The one I had killed so that she could come live with me in a more perfect harmony while armies of angels attended to her every whim? Bi-otch was Ka-ray-zay with a capital...

Revelation XII

Hey guys, what's happening? Just kidding, I already know. Before I get to My thoughts I just want to address the fact that I have a sponsor on my blog. A lot of you guys were like, "Ugh, this is so lame," and one of you (Trevor Hanson of Duluth,...

God Blog XI

God Blog X - The Almighty In Love

You guys, I am soooo sorry for the heat wave. It wasn't suposed to happen like that at all. It was supposed to get gradually hotter but I was so distracted that I set the sun to full blast and didn't remember to put the timer on it. I totes...

I Hate Sequels

Does anyone know what the deal with Evan Almighty is? Is it like a sequel or what? I'll admit, I was pretty excited when Bruce Almighty came out five years ago. It's pretty weird seeing people make a movie about You, ya know? The whole thing was...

Everyone, Please Ignore Paris Hilton

For anyone who is fortunate enough NOT to know, Paris Hilton is going to jail. I don't spy on mortals all day or anything, but it's impossible to avoid hearing about it. It's on the front page of every newspaper while news like, “Pope Stresses...

God Blog VII

Current Mood: MercifulWatching: My creation unfold before MeUgh, I'm so behind on My floods. I was supposed to flood Tennessee last week and I totally flaked on it! But it's not like I can just up and flood it today because that would make all...

God Blog VI

Been feeling kinda hollow lately. I was in The Infinite Pasture when, against all odds, I run into Mary. We kind of had this thing a while ago. In the words of Facebook, "it's complicated." Sorta awk at first, but after a while it felt like old...

God Blog V

Current Mood: VengefulWatching: Eyes Wide Shut (WTF Is going on!!!)Ugh, guys I'm so sorry I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I've been crazy busy this week (some stuff with an ecclesiastic counsel… don’t ask). I’m also...

God Blog IV

I didn't know what to blog about today, so I stole this quiz from Uriel's blog.A is for Age: I'm ageless, but if you're getting picky I'm technically Ж years old. B is for Best Friend: Mankind. The people, not the wrestler.C is for...

God Blog III

Current Mood: Bored Listening To: You masturbating, cryingUGH, I'm SO sick of winter. Don’t get me wrong, I love shutting down elementary schools and increasing road fatalities by a third. Honestly, I do. But then it's like everyone starts to...

God Blog II

Ughhhhh, have you ever woken up late and been like "Sh*t, I was supposed to answer prayers this morning!" but then you can't get out of your cloud bed? happened to me today...AGAIN! It's not that I'm lazy, I just can't get up when my alarm goes...

God Blog

Current Mood: All PowerfulListening To: Your PrayersDo you guys ever wake up and you're just like, "Ugh, this sh*t again..."  That's how I felt today.  For starters, my Tivo didn't record the Golden Globes the other night even though I totally...