As you open your eyes, you discover a strange crack in the ceiling you hadn't noticed yesterday. In fact, isn't your ceiling blue? Oh my god, you think to yourself - Where the hell am I?
Choose your own adventure!
If you want to be lying next to a gorgeous Adam Brody look-alike, continue reading.
If the man lying next to you reminds you of your great uncle Earl, skip to paragraph 4.

Paragraph 2
As you look to your left you notice the man next to you happens to be a gorgeous Adam Brody look-alike. You move over to spoon with your own Seth Cohen, and realize that you must still be drunk if he looks this good. You get up, stumble towards the fridge and pop open another beer - might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Upon re-entering the bedroom with a Bud in your hand, Seth stirs and says"¦
Choose your own adventure!
If the Seth look-alike says, "Hey, (insert your actual name here), you look even more beautiful than you did dancing on the bar last night,"� continue reading.
If he says, "Hey, (insert the cutest friend you went out with last night's name) did you bring that in here for me?"� skip to paragraph 6.

Paragraph 3
"Hey, (insert your actual name here), you look even more beautiful than you did dancing on the bar last night. He motions to come back to bed, and soon you're moaning loudly enough that you wake yourself up"¦
Proceed to paragraph 4.

Paragraph 4
As you look to your left you notice the man next to you happens to be the spitting image of your great uncle Earl. You leap out of bed, afraid you've been a victim of upper middleclass incest and notice the Hatebreed tattoo located alongside his scrotum. Thank god, you think - great uncle Earl's ink was of Michael Jackson...
Choose your own adventure!
If you want to locate your bra and underwear before heading home, continue reading.
If you don't mind scurrying down the street in your birthday suit, skip to paragraph 6.

Paragraph 5
As you look down at your naked body, you remember the city is in the midst of an ice storm. Scanning the room in search of Victoria's secret, you find a lacy thong, but, unfortunately. it's not yours. After what feels like hours but is closer to thirty seconds of searching, Shrek stirs and you grab the closest clothing items off the ground. Now clad in red plaid stirrup stretch pants and an oversize Hawaiian shirt, you run out the door, vowing never to return to 141 East 71st Street, Apartment 2B ever again.

Paragraph 6
As you look down at your naked body, and back at the ogre, it's obviously go time. Scurrying down the street in nothing but your birthday suit, you're suddenly aware of flashing lights behind you. After being read your rights (or lack thereof), Officer McHottie hands you a blanket and tells you to watch your head, as he offers you a warm ride down to the station.