CollegeHumor Classic

What To Expect From College, According To National Lampoon Movies

by Streeter Seidell October 01, 2006



  • The president of the student government will have actual power.
  • Famous bands will often show up and play at random house parties.
  • The dean is evil, as is his wormy assistant.
  • There's a black guy. One black guy. And guess what? He's your buddy.
  • Failing a class has absolutely no consequences.
  • Your dorm room will have the following amenities: a private bedroom, a balcony, a hot tub, naked women and enough room to move around.
  • An Indian kid with a funny accent will make your acquaintance and, eventually, help you out of a jam.
  • You'll never see, or hear from, your parents. The same goes for your friends from home.
  • Your roommate's younger sister will be super hot, totally into you, but way off limits.
  • RA? What RA? Feel free to spark up that huge bong sitting in plain sight on your coffee table!
  • One frat on campus will be exclusively for rich assholes, all of whom hate you and your ragamuffin friends.
  • The only girl you really like will be dating either the captain of the football team, a staunch young republican or the president of the above mentioned fraternity.
  • At some point you're going to have make a grand gesture in front of the entire school to save your frat and win back the heart of the girl who has mistaken you for an asshole thanks to a series of comic mishaps.
  • You'll win in the end. And then there will be a big party.
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Streeter Seidell

Streeter Seidell

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