Top Ten Signs You’re a Virgin in College…
10) Quote Dave Matthews randomly in conversation, on purpose.
9) Spend weekends alone in your room, with a box of Kleenex on your left, bottle of lotion on the right, and the complete second season of Star Trek Enterprise on the TV.
8) The only glimpse of a naked chick you see in person is when your roommate’s girlfriend walks around after they’ve had sex.
7) Thought the fat girl in your Biology class would go down on you; to bad you spent $38.72 taking her out to dinner and got nothing. Now your roommate calls you the Fat Chick Thriller.
6) Bought an external hard drive for the unhealthy amount of porn you downloaded with your schools T-1 line. Seriously, who needs 40GB of Bukkake-Interracial-Midget-Bestiality-Orgy porn?
5) Can’t be found on Monday and Friday nights because you’re watching your stories. And by stories, you mean Wrestling.
4) Have been caught cranking one out to the cover art of the latest Gwen Stefani album
3) Father bought you a box of condoms beginning of the year. They’re gone a month later, damn roommate.
2) You say you’re waiting for marriage, but really you just have a small penis
1) Not only do you watch Wrestling; when you get into an argument defending it, you break down into tears screaming, “It’s still real to me damn it!”
Recording...
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