The Dad Who Tries Too Hard To Be Cool

Son
: Hey dad. This is John. He’s on my basketball team.
Dad
: Oh, great. That is so fat that you guys ball together. I used to have so many hoop dreams when I was your age.
Son: I thought you wanted to be an accountant, dad.
Dad: True that, son. True that.
John: Nice to meet you, Mr. Peterson.
Dad: Word. Better yet: Phrase.
John: Huh?
Dad: Exactly. You are my dog.
Son: Dad, what the hell are you talking about?
Dad: Check it out, son. I got this new Nintendo Wheat System.
Son: It’s called a Wii. Pronounced “Wee.”
Dad: Oh, fat. Fat. So, what’s up for tonight? Are you boys going to be hollering at some shorties?
Son: No, dad. We’re going to the mall to see “Smokin’ Aces.”
Dad: Oh, phrase, phrase. Jeremy Piven is the bag of chips. He was great in “Serendipity” even though he only had a supporting role. Do you like John Cusack, John?
John: Uh…I guess, sure.
Dad: You two have the same name. That’s mad weird.
Son: OK, we have to leave.
Dad: Where are you going?
Son: I think I’m gonna apply to be an emancipated minor.
Dad: PHRASE! Ring me later dogs!
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