Two Girls Sit Late At Night In Their Dorm Rooms
Girl 1: How are things with David?
Girl 2: They’re good. It’s hard being in a long distance relationship. Especially with a boyfriend who’s so... possessive.
Girl 1: Possessive how?
Girl 2: He just gets a little jealous is all. And it's tough because he lives across the country. He sent me four texts yesterday while I was at cla--
Extremely Jealous Boyfriend Kicks Open Door
Extremely Jealous Boyfriend: Where the f*ck have you been?
Girl 2: Oh my god. David!
(Going to hug him)
EJB: Don’t f*cking touch me. Don’t even talk to me.
Girl 2: I’m sorry.
EJB: You really are. (
Pointing to Girl 1) What? Is this your boyfriend? Is this a boy or something?
Girl 1: I should go.
EJB: Stop avoiding the question.
Girl 2: David.
EJB: Seriously, don’t talk to me. I’m going back to the other side of America now. I just flew in to see what the hell was going on.
Girl 2: Wait!
EJB: No. My flight is in like... 2 hours.
Girl 2: I love you.
EJB: And now you owe me $550.
Girl 2: I love you.
EJB: Cash. Bye.
Next Week On: The Adventures of Extremely Jealous Boyfriend
Extremely Jealous Boyfriend and His Personal Trainer are in the Gym.
Extremely Jealous Boyfriend is Bench Pressing
Personal Trainer: Come on. One more. You’re gonna be so jacked.
EJB: No shit.
Personal Trainer: Whoa. Your nose is bleeding.
EJB: Jesus. That means she’s talking to some dude.
Personal Trainer: You said she was going to office hours. Maybe that’s just her professor or something.
EJB: That’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Gotta go. And don’t tell anybody I talk to you about her office hours.
Personal Trainer: Sure thing, man. Sure thing.
Extreme Jealous Boyfriend sprints out of the gym, knocking over a basketball hoop.
Recording...
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