Pick Up Lines Guaranteed To Get You Laid (for both genders!)

by Jesus Christ on February 04, 2007

It used to be that college was the best place to get a date for the weekend, but we are slowly shifting away from that. Colleges across America are no longer the excellent dating scenes they once were, they are now the hook up scenes that your parents wish they had when they were younger. Who wants to go out and dine with someone while exchanging awkward conversation when you can just dine in? And by dine I mean sex, and by in I mean in.

In embracing this hook up culture myself, I have come across a few fool proof ways to hook up with whatever girl you set your eyes on. Here they are guys, the last pick up lines you will ever need:

1.
"Do you have a headache? Take these."
"What does 'Roche' stand for?"
"Extra Strength Tylenol."

2.
"Jesus Christ is my personal lord and savior. Let's get married." *

* Only guaranteed to work at any college whose name contains the word "bible", "christian", or "holy"

3.
"Excuse me miss, are you drunk?"
" ... "
"Awesome" **

** Only guaranteed to work on passed out chicks

4.
"My dad just died and left me his multi-million dollar corporation"

5.
"Does this Rag smell like Chloroform?"

I wouldn't want to risk being sexist, so since I compiled a list for the guys, I also compiled a list for the girls. Ladies, I present to you the only pick-up lines you will ever need. Ever.

1.
"Want to have sex?"