Dear CH staff, I would like to inform you that you have unintentionally stolen an important person to me. What’s that? Oh it’s fine, don’t apologize, I know you didn’t mean to. I was hoping that perhaps you could post this letter I wrote to him though, it’s my last hope.

Dear Hun**r (I carefully covered up part of your name so that people won’t know who I’m talking to),
How’s it going, man? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you, especially away from the ol’ computer screen. I remember back in the day before I introduced you to CollegeHumor (aka two semesters ago) when we’d do things together, like eat pancakes in the morning. Boy do I miss those pancakes.
    So by now I know you’re probably thinking, “Why is he writing to me on CH?” Well here’s the thing my friend… By process of elimination I determined that this is quite possibly the only way of contacting you. Trust me, it’s science.
    Now I know we’re roommates and all, but ever since I showed you the wonders of CH it just hasn’t been the same. Honestly, we’re starting to worry about you man. All you want to do is watch the latest video, or read the comments on pictures, but not comment yourself. We even heard you call your parents to tell them about a funny comment that ‘Boston’ posted.
    Listen, I’ll cut to the chase… We want the old you back. Please limit your CH time to less than 9 ½ hours a day. Maybe its time to put on some pants, empty that little septic tank you made under your desk, walk out into the living room and say hey to your roommates, that’s all we ask. Hope to see you soon.