It has been made clear to me recently that things change.I know, I know, Iexpelled some urine in my pants as well.For many American born Jews out there, whether they be second generation, third generation, or covered in Chef Boyardee, Judaism is one of those things that’s been changed, more aptly Americanized (Boo ya).The stereotype of the Jewish mother seems to step up first in line (the character Mike Myers made classic in old SNL skits).Imagine a man in a deep voice saying the following italicized words.Yet, there is one recently discovery about American Jewish culture researched, pioneered, and discovered right here at the , one with Biblical Proportions.In fact, in a bathroom stall at this university, but that’s neither hence nor fence.

Many Jews out there have duly noted the nature of Hanukah and it’s similarity to Christmas.Gift giving, holiday cheer, people being nice (which in turn makes me sick).All this occurs even though Hanukah is not a major Jewish holiday.If a five year old wants presents and does not celebrate Christmas, I’m all for giving him a corrosive, electrified, exploding, fire breathing, environmentally friendly piece of machinery and put him to work so he can buy his own crap.Now the interesting part lies in here friends because I have recently connected two other major events that explain a reversal of this phenomenon under your very snout.

For all of those people who have never experience Bar and Bat Mitzvah season, I will be the first to report that you are definitely missing something.It’ll teach you how to dance better than salsa lessons from Tostitos.The food, the rock and/or roll (by that I mean the DJ who has heard “YMCA” more times in his life than the amount of times he has sat at home on a Saturday night and cried himself to sleep), and the women (and by women I mean people with female genitalia) were in full supply.It is a fantastic array of peoples from all over celebrating a great accomplishment and entrance into adulthood and to remember those great musical founders who pioneered “Bar Mitzvah Music”: the Village People, Sister Sledge, and Donna Summer to name a few.This extravagance for thirteen year old Jews has recently met a partner. One would say (namely me and Ronald McDonald’s Breakfast Crew) that the new fad of extravagant Sweet Sixteen parties has taken the concept of Bar Mitzvah extravagance and thrown Rogaine on it (after massaging the scalp for a full ten minute period).

Sweet Sixteen parties are the American (or American Christian) equivalent to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.Think about it.Both are thrown for people who have “entered adulthood”, both are absurdly extravagant, both occur on or near one’s birthday, both have the letter “T” in them…Just as Jews want presents during Christmas, all other religious peoples want unnecessary birthday parties.The MTV show “Super Sweet Sixteen” just such people begging their parents for cars, martini drinking unicorns, and the complete “Sex in the City” DVD collection.Once I discovered this simlarity, I knew that I needed to share it with the world i.e. the slim few who actually read this article (that means you Mr. Sylvester Stallone).I believe it all began back with the dinosaurs when little Brontasaurusberg had her Bat Mitzvah and invited small Tyranosaurusmith, who became jealous, threw a tantrum, and forced her father, Bert, to throw a party for her at sixteen.

All in all, this splicing of cultures is really what was founded on and should still be all about.A little slice of apple pie (or kugel).Although this article might not solve world hunger, it makes a great bib while binge eating, AMERICAN STYLE!Yee haw, let’s live in excess!