Bracket Tips

by Brian Paulsen on March 12, 2007

If you don't have a degree in Bracketology, don't even bother.
Pledge that in the future you will travel back to 2007 and give your past self a sports almanac.

[upload:984112:small:right: A sample bracket for the random noun tournament]

The more money it costs to enter a pool, the better your chances of winning? Right?
Be careful. If you've got the Blue Barracudas vs. the Purple Parrots in the finals, you're going in on a Legends of the Hidden Temple pool. If you've got Ashley I vs. Sam C, you have entered an America's Hottest College Girl pool. If you're wet, you have entered an actual pool.
Remember to pick the teams that will win. Year after year, people make the mistake of picking the teams that lose.
Fill out your bracket as quickly as possible. I don't care if you have two high schools in the Final Four. GO GO GO!
One strategy is to pick based on which mascot would win in a fight. If you don't know, stage an actual fight. Next up: Irish guy vs. alligator in the Midwest Final.
Remember: it’s the Sweet Sixteen, so pick teams that sound like delicious fruits. (Example: Belmont = Banana, Albany = Apple, Oral Roberts: Orange Guava. Etc. etc. etc.)
Keep in mind that Syracuse, wait... I don't see Syracuse. Better double check.
Texas A&M is actually one team. You have A going to the Elite Eight and M going to the Final Four for some reason.
You have a better chance of winning if you just let your girlfriend pick at random. This is especially true if you're dating ESPN Bracketlogist Joe Lunardi, you lucky prick.
If you're stuck, remember that first team alphabetically wins almost 53% of the time. Work those odds!