1 - Ok well I'm hungry, but dinner isn't for a couple hours. Sooo I guess I'll eat some Doritos to pass the time?  I'll just have a couple.  I don't really even like them that much.

2 - Dammmn these are good.  I should stop now so I don't ruin my appetite.  (Closes bag.  Looks at bag.  Reopens bag.) Ok, just a few more, these are really freaking good.  Look!  LOOK my fingers are orange!  If that's not a reason to keep eating, I don't know WHAT is.

3 - Holy sh*t, I already ate half the bag?  I wasn't even paying attention, I was just sitting on the couch watching reruns of Full House.  Oh NICE, this is the one where Joey takes Stephanie to a mother-daughter sleepover...

4 - ...and I can't beLIEVE he didn't drop that egg while wearing high heels.  Wait, wait, WAIT.  What the hell.  Did I seriously just eat this many chips?  There are only like 20 left! (Pause.  Frowns.) I mean, they ARE pretty good.  I guess since I've made it this far, a few more won't hurt, right?

5 - Ok ok ok ok ok ok.  Ok.  I'm so full. (Looks down into bag.)  There are literally 6 chips left.  Oh man, I can count them just by looking, that's how few there are.  If I close the bag now, I'll just be annoyed with the lack of chips when I open it later.  And I don't want to waste any food.  Just, come on.  Come on.  Finish it.

6 - K.  Dinner time?