Back in the late 1800's, young George Washington Carver, a strapping lad, was working hard on a farm in Missouri. One day, while working with the heffers, he was exposed to high levels of methane gas from their farts, radiation from the gamma rays of the sun. These, with the combination of the only JELLY sandwich in his stomach, filled him with warmth to the point he was rendered unconscious.
    When George awoke, he was in the middle of the corn field, obviously naked(that's what always happens when you awake from being unconscious, you are naked and have no idea where you are, right? He traced himslef back through the knocked over corn husk/plant/tree things back to the bard. Not like it wasn't to be expected, there was a monstrous man sized  hole perfectly cut out of the side of the barn.  After entering the hole, he was struck with horror. His favorite  cow named Bessie, seemed to have been slaughtered and pummelled so intensely that all that remained of her was a ground beef replica statue of her(skill...enough said). George grew irate that the piece of art in front of him used to be he best friend, and passed out again.
    When he awoke, the same thing happened. He was naked, in the field, crushed plants, new hole in the barn, ground beef Michaelangelo-esque cow posed all Moo-like in the barn. He came to the realization that it was he that had done this large amount of damage(I bet the blood on his hands, cow tail in his mouth, and signature drawn on the undamaged wall with a whitish yellow powder that he reasoned to be the crushed form of the cow bones, gave it away). From this day forth, he vowed to never be angry again, and devote all of his time and energy to becoming smarter, so he could rid himself of this disaster causing curse.
    Over the next 30 years, he went to school, and kept working towards the eradication of his problem. This was not without reappearances of what he described as "the Beast". The reoccurences came in middle school when people made fun of his acne, in high school when he didn't get laid after prom, and when he didn't get that promotion he wanted at the Plant Place.
    Stuck as a lowly researcher at thePlanty Plant Sun Grow Water Synthetics Plant, George had embarked on experiments using legumes, specifically peanuts. He could not figure out why peanuts and jelly did not make good sandwhiches. "They are both tasty, bold flavors, different textures that complement each other well, yet my tummy doesn't like it," he grumbled. He sat deeply in thought for the next 3 hours as his stomach struggle to digest the catastrophic combination that was forced upon it.
    When he became hungry again, he pulled out another jelly sandwich from his interestingly bright purple pants. He again realized that he would be forced to eat another crappy concotion because he, with all of his smarts, couldn't come up with something that went well with jelly. He became enraged, and his feared reaction occured. He grew twice the normal size, turned green, shredded his shirt and pants(which miraculously stretched to cover his new girth), and was reduced to the speaking ability of a caveman 4th grader.

    The sandwich, now the relative size a Cheez-it, was not even large enough to suffice his now radioactively large stomach. Now needing an elephant sized meal, he looked around. All there was was test tubes, chemicals, and peanuts (which we all know don't make a nice dinner, screw you Planter's).  With a  large growl that sounded like,"GEORGE SMASH!!!!",  he smashed his giant green fists against the experiment table.  CRASH!  The table was obliterated.  The only remnant of the table that had not been hit so hard that it's grandmother cried was an awkward goo on the hand of the titan. Doing what all fourth graders do, he licked his hands clean of the slime. With an ecstatic,"Oh!", he quivered and shrunk back to his normal size.

    He had discovered the anti-serum to his transformation, the stop sign to his traffic,the Fergie to his music enjoyment, the public to his idea of the right to marriage of gay people, the pregnancy of one of his one night stands to his bachelor days. That was how George Washington Carver invented Peanut Butter. It was magical, and went well with jelly. The end.