The Amount Of Time You Spend Outside



Chances of meeting girls

Chances of beating Guitar Hero

Slip and Slide injuries

Badger attacks

SIX MOTHERF*CKING FLAGS, BABY!

Amount of squinting

Farmer's Tan

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Onion Sports has quickly become the nation's number-one site for hard-hitting sports news, stats, and information that isn't true. If you hadn't figured this out yet, what The Onion is to news, Onion Sports is to sports.