1. Place ear to chest of victim and "shoosh" gathering customers as you listen for heartbeat. Announce that you can hear no pulse and demand they give victim "some air, for Christ's sake."
2. Tear open victim's shirt, place hands on victim's chest and begin sequence of 15 compressions, counting each with audible whisper.
3. Tilt victim's head back, place lips around mouth, and begin respiration. Repeat compression/respiration sequence for up to 2 minutes or until random bystander pats you on shoulder and gently insists victim is "gone."
4. Sit beside victim, defeated, gently weeping with head buried in hands.
5. Shout that it isn't the victim's "time yet" and throw self back on victim's body. Pound clenched fist down on victim's chest until victim miraculously regains consciousness, or bystanders yank you violently away.
by CH Staff
by Patrick Cassels at Purchase College
by Jake Hurwitz at Hunter College
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
We're living in the future! If only Aunt Jemima were still alive to see this.
LOL, this tree is sexy
A bunch of dumbasses jumping off of stuff and getting hurt.
700+ rivet n washer used so far, two part resin urethane helmet
Recording...
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