Summer Pickup Lines

by Rusty Shacklefurt on May 11, 2007

Well summer is upon us once again and for those of us lucky enough not to graduate and have to work a real job or go home and face psycho highschool exes, we must rebuild college society. This translate into finding girls and relentlessly trying to have sex with them (Ha ha...300 feet restraining order). For those of you on the hunt and brave enought to use them, here's a short list of some pick up lines that I've been tossing around...(NB: no. 4 relies on a confident delivery)

1) "My penis, your vagina, now."

*2) "I don't have anything a little penicillin can't clear up."

3) "I don't even cry after sex anymore."

4) (put two fingers up to the girl's face) "Make these smell like vagina."

5) "If you come back with me tonight, I'll cook you breakfast in bed in the morning, then we can walk to the clinic to get tested for lunch."

6) "I paid your friend to tell me who you are and I literally have a condom with your name on it in my pocket."

7) "I play on the top hockey team at the university. No, there's no Division I hockey team at our college. Wait, wait it's still Division I club hock..."

*If this is a lie, simply cross your fingers behind your back.

**Under no circumstances use any of these pickup lines, unless you're really, really drunk.

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