The stock market can be overwhelming, but you’re the type of investor that keeps his cool. You’re not the type of investor who brashly reacts to each and every new market condition.
You invest with Investicon.
You’re in control. But we’re in control of your money. And that makes you feel good. Cause what you don’t know, doesn’t hurt you.
But even if you did know, you wouldn’t be mad, right? You’ve invested with Investicon because we had the most convincing ad. You’re the type of guy that doesn’t respond to facts and figures. That's why we don’t have any. What we do have is smiling faces and charts, but mostly smiling faces.
At Investicon, we don’t believe in gimmicks, mantras, slogans, employees or offices. We’ve got something that our investors care about, their money, and the know-how and professionalism to inform them when that money is gone.
When you invest with Investicon you will be at ease, because even if the market crashes, you probably weren’t invested in that “hot stock” to begin with. In fact, there’s a good chance, nobody knows where your money even is. That means it’s safe.
At Investicon, we keep on top of trends to try and determine what to invest in. We get on board early, and we make big bucks. You ask, what are some of our big successes? Well, ever heard of the Internet? Investicon has too. We’re currently researching this new phenomenon—with scientists.
Investicon will never pester you by asking you what you want us to invest in. Unless of course, you have suggestions. But we’re the type of company that doesn’t listen to suggestions unless their sent to us in an envelope. We’re committed to this stance and no amount of scientific proof or common sense will sway our minds.
We don’t need to massage your ego in this ad because you’re much to smart to fall for that, plus you’re the sexiest person we’ve ever met, that’s why we want your money.
Invest with Investicon.
by Nelson Greaves at Harvard
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Alex Schmidt at Syracuse
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