Sober Me has a Sit Down Talk with Drunk Me

by Ryan Kraemer on June 01, 2007
(Drunk me stumbles into an upstairs bedroom where sober me is waiting)

DM: Hey, you’re not Kasey.

SM: It’s Katie actually, but yea, I asked her to tell you to meet her upstairs because I couldn’t get you up here otherwise. Listen, we need to talk.

DM: Talk, man? There is a freakin sweet party downstairs. Don’t say anything but I think I am supposed to be meeting up with that Kelly chick later, she totally wants to (DM performs a couple hip thrusts) You KNOW!!! (DM goes for the high five but is left hanging; he looks incredibly hurt)

SM: No, Katie is not interested, it’s only me. Look man, every time you go out in public you end up doing a couple of things that make me look bad. It’s like everything positive I do you reciprocate with a negative.

DM: Whater you talkin ‘bout man?

SM: Like with Katie. We had a nice night going out to dinner and a movie last Wednesday but then on Friday you called her a bitch for taking your keys and almost ruined everything.

DM: Yea, but you apologized for that. Tell the bitch to chill yo, like, I was drunk.

SM: Exactly! I apologized. And don’t tell her to chill because you were drunk. You are always drunk!

DM: Buzz kill! Hey man, some of the guys were talking about headin down to some bars man, wanna go.

SM: The bars? No I don’t want to go to the bars. That’s another thing. When was the last time you had a job. I work my ass off for my money and then you go out to the bars and I wake up with an empty wallet.

DM: You’re right man. Tonight, drinks are on me.

SM: No they’re not. You are using my money. And stop using my cell phone as well. You’re no longer allowed to call or text message anyone. If I wake up with a tear stained pillow and thirty pathetic text messages to my ex again I am disconnecting our cell phone.

DM: I think somebody is in denial.

SM: No I am not; I am just tired of everyone thinking I am a jackass. You are the jackass and I get blamed for it.

DM: So, like, whater you saying. Are you going to quit drinking?

(SM sits debating)

SM: Alright, you win. Here is some extra cash for the bar.

DM: I love you man. Seriously dude, seriously.
Likes
62   Recording...
Share this article
Facebook Fark
StumbleUpon
Embed Myspace, blog
Send to Phone
Email
See more
Ryan Kraemer

Ryan Kraemer

Belmont

View Profile
Send a message

RECENT ARTICLES

More
There are 34 comments. Signin or create an account to see them.

2,136 / 4,839
Newest Articles

NEWER    OLDER

Visit Our Partners

next previous

BFF

Filmdrunk is everything you want to know about movies, the people in them and the cultural cesspit known as Hollywood. It's like a celebrity gossip blog for film students. Go now!