The Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel in Chicago was the place to be Memorial Day weekend. It was the home of Bear Pride 2007 (nothing to do with football) and I was there to celebrate. Okay I wasn't there to celebrate Bear Pride. I was there for my sister's wedding. The lobby bars were filled to capacity all weekend. Hundreds of huge, hairy gay men drinking beer with hundreds of short, chatty, Jews drinking Cabernet. It was quite a site.

So, I was busy all weekend doing Maid of Honor wedding stuff and, of course, protecting my boyfriend. Not from gay bears. No, those men are large, but harmless. My Jewish relatives on the other hand: very scary.

"Hellooo! Mindy's tall Catholic boy! Over here! We want to chat with you!"

"So, Marc, do Jewish women have big knockers or what?!"

"You look Jewish. You look like Jerry Seinfeld."
"No, he looks like Hugh Grant."
"Oh yeah. Those eyes and that punim."
"But you have no tush!"

"You're so cute! We might have to steal you from Mindy."
"We're kidding, we're too old for you."
"I'm not too old for him!"

"You know Marc, we always thought Mindy was gay. We've never had a lesbian in the family. We were all so excited. But you're very nice."

"I'm Mindy's great auntie Sara. Give me a kiss. On the mouth, don't be shy! So listen, Mindy got her boobs from me. Take a look at your future."

So while I was recovering from all the festivities this week (wedding stuff, boyfriend protection, and repeatedly trying to convice my eighty six year old grandfather that the bears were not winking at him) you guys were sending me tons of sex-related inquires. I'm still working on responding to some of them, but I hope this helps.*

• I'm so sorry but I don't know the exact location of your g-spot. I'm sure if I felt around I could find it, but well... if I did it for you I'd have to do it for everyone.

• I have no idea why some nights you can cum three times in a row and others not at all. Thanks for all the detailed info though.

• I think it's normal for balls to be asymmetrical.

• I think the bumps  around your bikini area are razor burn and not herpes, but please don't send me a picture.

• No, I don't think shaving my legs is anti-feminist. Plus NYC has 90 degree summers with raging humidity. It's about sweaty legs, not feminism.

• I think your boyfriend is a selfish douchebag. He should let you be on top every once in awhile. But I don't know him. I'm sure he loves you. 

• I'm sorry. I have no clue why you always feel nauseated after sex. Maybe take some Dramamine beforehand or wear that bracelet thing.

• I'm so glad you're girlfriend has "tits that could be their own planet" Good for you.

•  No,  "bumps on the inside"  are NOT razor burn.  Sorry.

 *Mindy is not a sex therapist, or a sex educator, or sex expert. She's not a physician, a trained psychologist or a dermatologist. She's not a gynecologist or a proctologist. And she's not penis doctor either. She's writer/performer. Sorry.

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